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Divorce
I would like an opinion about a pastor and his wife who has irreconcilable marriage problems. Both are in the ministry and has been married for 25 years. Is divorce an option ? The "normal" remedies has been followed. Talk, councelling etc.
Posted by : Heinrich Slabbert on 16-08-2009 |
Jean and I have spoken to and advised Christians over the years about this issue including those who contemplating divorce. Marriage has been designed by God. As marriage is a one flesh relationship between a husband and a wife, then the both the husband and the wife have been designed to work together in a way which will make the marriage run the way God intended. The marriage may get into difficulties where the husband and/or the wife act in a way which is not in line with His design.
We have a friend who, with his wife, counsel those who have encountered difficulties in marriage. He recently made the point that it is becoming increasingly common to hold the view that separation is virtually inevitable where the relationship breaks down. However, their experience, and ours too, is that a marriage can be saved where both husband and wife truly want to bring the marriage back into line with the way God intended.
We have put some of our own marriage counseling notes on this website in the Library section under Marriage Designed by God. Obviously we do not know what irreconcilable problems are involved in the case you mention but, in the notes, we have tried to deal with some of the things which are frequently at the root of difficulties. Sadly, if a husband and wife simply do not want to reconcile, divorce is the common alternative these days even amongst Christians, though we believe that God intended marriage to be for life - and to be a joy. It will be interesting to read what others have to say.
Posted by : Mike Adkins on 16-08-2009 |
A few facts about this case. Their marriage was strong, and then a few years back, the church where they were serving had a huge breakup. Some ugly things happened. This caused a lot of hurt. In the process of recovery the wife got involved with another man (member of congregation) The Family went to another church. The congregation did not know about this. The pastor forgave his wife, and the marriage though shaken survived. Because of this family leaving, the church suffered financially. The strain because of this, negatively impacted the marriage. Then the husband discovered "by accident" that his wife still harbored feelings for the other man. The husband does not want divorce, knows the scriptures and loves God, but the marriage is becoming a living hell. The husband wants to reconcile, but the wife blames everything on the husband. Communication is difficult. Strangely enough, the wife also does not want divorce!
Posted by : Heinrich Slabbert on 17-08-2009 |
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